Priti Priti what legislation hast thou forsaken? AKA Capital GUNishment with Britain’s best selling Daily Genocidist!

Now then, now then quiet at the back. Thank you. You may recall that but two days ago we established as a class that the e-petitions site was, to put it flatteringly, largely ordained by barely literate folk who in expressing their desired legislature often came across as madder than Tom Cruise’s favourite brush.

Since over 100,000 people added their signature to Paul Staines’ online E-petition it has to become commons debate & was discussed on last week’s Question Time from Birmingham. Conservative MP Priti Patel should’ve looked increasingly isolated in her views towards reinstating capital gun-ishment as an apparent ‘deterrent’. One local audience member then echoed her point before comparing this measure to being caned at school. Despite the 4 remainder of the panel (Dimbleby included you’d hope) clearly opposed Patel still went largely unchallenged by all but Ian Hislop. He is all that prevented Birmingham from rolling heads in a misguided public bloodletting of Nick Clegg (ok not strictly true but still deeply worrying).

Without wanting to turn this piece into a scathingly personal and vitriolic attack on any one individual (please refer to Nick Griffin post), Patel is making it very difficult to resist. After investigation all her official websites as Witham MP downplay her pro-death penalty stance, as indeed they should within any slick and ongoing PR campaign known as modern politics. But when said constituent claims that “as a young mother she understands the wide range of issues affecting people in the local area” this is obviously a glaring oversight. Simply having a wee babby doesn’t equip someone to act a representative barometer of moral virtue (and they said Rose West was a bad mother).

Bring Back Hanging heckles the all-too thinly veiled subtext of recent front pages of the Daily Heil sorry Mail. It usually then launches into a series of quotes from the minority of supportive Tory MPs before reluctantly signing off with Amnesty’s admission that this would be the hallmark of an uncivilised and immoral society. It’s true there ARE some abhorrently wicked and sick individuals in this world and most of them probably write for the Mail already. Talk about pissing all over your own pantry.

How the Daily Mail would look were it not for their old bugbear Political Correctness

After almost 40 years how quickly folk forget the grim reality of how unfulfilled it leaves the families of killer’s victims. There is no closure for someone you have lost and taking vengeance would help you sleep no easier. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind’ a wise man named Gandhi once said. Having said that however, he did live in a very dusty country where river blindness couldn’t always be avoided because of contaminated water supplies. Archbishop Desmond Tutu (named after my degree grade) has also sagely commented that the death penalty is merely vengeance & never justice.

Presumably this is all a reactionary backlash following the Norwegian massacre that as a nation has comparatively liberal criminal sentencing currently capped at a maximum of 25 years. Varg Vikernes aka Count Grishnackh aka Burzum one man death metal band & convicted brutal murderer of Mayhem’s guitarist Euronymous (gotta get me a title that long & ignoble someday) walked free after 16 years. The irony is Burzum translates as Darkness – imagine Suffolk’s finest The Darkness as JUST Justin Hawkins in a leotard & codpiece wailing about the futility of mortality because THAT’s our literal equivalent.

Yet again I digress.

This may indeed be rather forgiving for someone (Vikernes not Hawkins) who also burnt 4 churches & had far-right links to Neo-nazi factions for many years. The point is he does seem genuinely rehabilitated and claims to only want family company & work on his farm. I don’t mean to use an ex-mentalist white supremacist musician (just about) as a case study of comparative penal systems but I strongly doubt Vikernes would’ve been ‘deterred’ by now being Dead (which even more ironically was another Mayhem band member that killed himself rather than by Vikernes’ stabby hand).

At least when we had public hanging,” brainwashed Stepford Grandmothers of Daily Mail Worship will be thinking “there was something free I could take my grandkids to watch“.

Its not every blog post which name-checks Tom Cruise, Priti Patel MP, Ian Hislop, Nick Clegg, Nick Griffin, Rose West (they’d make a good couple), Gandhi, Desmond Tutu, Varg Vikernes aka Burzum, Justin Hawkins & Mayhem’s Dead in turn although to be fair they probably all deserve to meet the same ends other than Gandhi, Tutu & Ian Hislop – how often can you say THAT?