This is where it begins to get interesting as there is potentially a huge array of choices here.
Candy – Cameo
As utterly misinterpreted by Mariah (whom coincidentally has never been on fire), this knockout original has all those good things including a semi-constipated Larry Blackmon confessing every type of berry his ladylove shares the aroma of.
Hilarious video guest starring the return of the red codpiece (by now presumably a little musky) & everyone partying between Larry’s legs
That Petrol Emotion’s (featuring members of Magazine) Candy Loves Satelite & Car’s Candy-O completes the potential 3-piece suite/sweet – see what i did there?
Oh Carolina– Shaggy (Trad. Arr.)
Could only ever be the ‘rasclart boobaclart’ version (believe me you wouldn’t wanna know what it translates as in English). Still somehow lovable & infectious as Dutch Elm disease to those on the UK mainland
Could he be the world’s most successful Jamacian/Japanese crossover artist?
Cindy C – Prince
As in Crawford; from his notoriously-withdrawn Black Album that was eventually released 5 years after the initial pressing in 1993. Like there’s more than one “actress/model oooh from Paris, France” This is playfully funky & much looser than his usual party fare which makes you wonder why he felt it such a negative influence when less than half is minimalist rap. The recording of this album was rumoured to be the only occasion Prince indulged in chemical drugs by taking E according to Per Nilsen’s bio!
As for the music, he usually composes in far more difficult keys…
Corinna – Taj Mahal
Tender and bittersweet, could’ve chosen Clara (St Kitts Woman) about his dear old Grandma instead
Countess Bathory – Venom
Haha! This is completely OTT & gains entry purely for the folklore attached to this historic witch-like figure based on the spurious allegation that she bathed in her victim’s blood in an effort to stay forever youthful…and to achieve that Pantene shine.
Other options were;
Does Caroline Know? – Talk Talk
Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond
Don’t even think about it buddy
Carolyn’s Fingers/Cicely – Cocteau Twins
Cecilia – Paul Simon (& Garfunkel)
As utterly misinterpreted by Suggs of Madness (whom coincidentally has never got up to wash his face whilst being replaced in bed)
Cecelia Ann – Pixies
Charlottethe Harlot – Iron Maiden
Chloe – Ry Cooder
Cleopatra – Cleopatra
More a group manifesto of solidarity than the ancient Egyptian pharaoh but still…